I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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