good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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