is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
