just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
