Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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