It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
