That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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