He uses pillows to masturbate.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
