I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
