oh god the rape fog is back!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
