How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize