I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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