Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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