Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
