K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
