my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I will pee on everything he values.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
