i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
