these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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