Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
