i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
