Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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