it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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