we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
