it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
