did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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