I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
