Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
