sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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