you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
