Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize