The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
