We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
