i think my tv is drunk
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
