Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
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