Duck Duck Cougar?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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