the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
