Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She is in my trunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
