i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
