Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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