Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
