Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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