well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Randomize
