Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
