oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
