Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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