theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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