I need help removing her.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
