my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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