I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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