Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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