So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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