I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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