Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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