Will you blow on my dice?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
