So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
