i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize