i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize