how can u be prego again
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
