I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
