Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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