someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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